Twilight on Messenger
by RoseNEmmettForever
Summary: They were on Twitter, and now... they're on Messenger. Follow the Cullens, some of the wolves, and the Volturi as they all embark on a MSN journey! Who knows what could happen?
1. Chapter 1

Twilight Messinger!

A/N Another Two-shot on the Cullens on yet another social network! This just popped into my head while writing the second chapters to Twilight Adventures, and Love And Family. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or MSN. I just own the funny adventure that's about to unravel.

Cullen MSN

Emmett sat on the couch, concentrating on the TV where it showed a promotion for another one of his favorite video games. He was about to turn it off, when a promotion for a new social network popped on.

He stared at the TV in awe. "Chat where ever we want as long as we have an internet connection, or IPhone? Totally cool!"

"What's so cool, Emmett?" Renesmee asked walking by with Jacob.

"This new thing called Windows Live! Can you believe it? You can chat anywhere you want! With a laptop, or IPhone! We should all get accounts!"

"Ugh seriously? Daddy says those networks aren't necessary. He says they're just there to get people to sit in front of their computers all day to talk to…"

"We're all getting one, 'Nuff said, tell the others," Emmett said authority thick in his tone.

"Fine, fine. Mother, father, Emmett would like us all to get these things called MSN accounts! I think he's going crazy, but let's get them for his enjoyment, okay?" Nessie shouted from the living room.

"Fine," "What do I get out of it?" "I knew this was coming!" "He is crazy." "My son is crazy, but I love him." "He seems too excited for his own good! Makes me wanna jump for joy!" "And they call us wolves crazy? Huh, Whatever." Various comments were shouted from all around the house.

"Guess I better get up and make one, huh?" Emmett asked, standing.

"You better, you're the one who made us, its only fair," Alice said walking by with her IPhone in hand.

The family all created accounts… and chaos followed. Who else would they find on there? Its not like the Volturi had heard of this monstrosity of a social network… or did they…?

*In Volterra*

Aro sat on his thrown feeling unsatisfied. It had been a long time since he had last left his castle. The last time he'd gone was to visit his dear friends, the Cullens. What a wonderful visit that turned out to be!

How wrong he and his brothers were about the hybrid child. How badly they had misjudged the poor Cullens. The friends they kept though, worried him and his comrades. They were strange creatures. Things that shouldn't exist, yet did. He didn't dwell on these thoughts for long, though. He had other things to think about…

"Jane, dear what are you so excited about?" Marcus asked quietly as Jane skipped threw the doorway.

"Oh, Marcus did you hear?"

"Hear what?" Marcus asked, sounding quite bored.

"There is a new social network that allows you to chat where ever you like!"

"Ahh! A new discovery! Dearest Jane, can you create various accounts for people? As in, we could all have our own?" Aro asked.

"Yes! Its wonderful!"

"Then do me the honor of creating us, and the guard accounts, please?" Caius said excitedly.

"Will do, your Majesty!" As soon as she was gone Aro clapped his hands together, smiling.

"Ahh, brothers, I do believe we may have found something to pass the time! How wonderful!"

"Yes, indeed!" Caius said laughing.

That began the adventure of a lifetime, not just for them, but for the Cullens, as well. The sad part of it all was, the Cullens had no idea that the Volturi would have these. They would have stayed away from it if they knew.

A/N I know, a short chapter, but the next one will be like 22 pages long! Hope you liked it so far. For clarification, MSN has been around for ages in this story, but they all just found out about it. Have fun reading!

-RoseNEmmettForever-


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Hope you enjoy. Oh, almost forgot, when they're chatting it will say their real name before they type, not their username. It'll only show the username when they log on, or off. Sorry, that's easier for me to keep track of all of them without messing up the characters.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight and or Carlisle, or Emmett

Username list:

Cullrns/wolves

Esme: LifeSaversWife1921.

Carlisle: LifeSaver1921

Edward: MindReader0813

Bella: ShieldUFromDanger0813

Rosalie: BeautyQueen1936

Emmett: GrizzleyMan1936

Alice: PredictionPixie1945

Jasper: MoodMan1945

Renesmee: SeeHowIThink0910

Jacob Black: FuriousWolf0910

Seth: LovableWolfMan06

Leah Clearwater: BeautifulAndDangerous89

Volturi *Only the important ones, sorry.*

Aro: IRuleTheWorld800

Caius: ILoveTorture800

Marcus: BoredomIsMyPassion800

Jane: BeautifulPain17

Alec: ParalyzingGod17

Felix: Fighter123

Demetri: MuscularPain17

The adventure began on a beautiful sunny day. The Cullens were stuck inside all day. What better thing to do than log on to their new accounts? Volterra had the same problem. Both Covens logged on, and this is what ensued.

Esme: (LifeSaversWife1921.) Has logged on.

Alice: (PredictionPixie1945.) has logged on.

Jasper: (MoodMan1945.) has logged on.

Carlisle: (LifeSaver1921.) has logged on.

Edward: (MindReader0813.) has logged on.

Bella: (ShieldUFromDanger0813.) has logged on.

Rosalie: (BeautyQueen1936.) has logged on.

Emmett: (GrizzleyMan1936.) has logged on.

Esme: Hi, Emmett.

Emmett: Hi, Mom…

Esme: Are you in a tree again with your iPhone? What have Carlisle and I told you about… climbing up a tree while its raining with a elictronic device?

Emmett: … uh… uh…

Esme: Oh, get back home. Now!

Rosalie has been invited to the conversation by GrizzleyMan1936.

Carlisle has been invited to the conversation by GrizzleyMan1936.

Alice has been invited to the conversation by LifeSaver1921.

Edward has been invited by LifeSaver1921.

Bella has been invited to the conversation by MindReader0813.

Jasper has been invited by ShieldUFromDanger0813.

Jasper: I tell him time after time, but he never listens. I tell you, he has the attention span of a squirrel!

Emmett:I do not! I'm climbing down the tree right now and I'm going to go home and… Oh. My. Gosh! It's a black grizzley! Ahh! My favorite!

Carlisle: You were saying, Jasper?

Bella: You gotta admit, he's quite funny.

Emmett: Damn straight! I know I am… Jasper, I do not have a squirrels brain! Let me tell you I think like a man… A lion! Ah! They scare me, Mommy! Esme!

Rosalie: And… to think, I married him… is there still time for divorce?

Emmett: No, Rosie Posey, please, don't… is that a flying squirrel? Woo! I'm the King of the world! I'm flying through the trees!

Carlisle: There's plenty of time… when shall we begin the process?

Edward: A.S.A.p

Bella: I'm just going to pretend I don't know him and carry on with my life…

Alice: Me too.

Jasper: Now, wait a minute, I just noticed something…

Esme: What?

Jasper: You told Emmett he shouldn't be in the rain… it's not raining… where is he?

Esme: …

Carlisle: Esme, where?

Esme: I don't know! I just did that to see if he really was in the rain… I didn't think…

Rosalie: Oh… shiiiiit! It says there's a storm headed for Volterra, you don't think…?

Alice: But I saw it would be sunny over there… I didn't see… rain!

Emmett: Whoa, the Volturi are using computers! Do you think they have what we have?...?

Alice: Emmett! No! They…

Carlisle They have these, don't they?

Alice: YES!

Edward: Let's try to avoid them at all costs, Emmett, you loon, do they find you by your name?

Emmett: Duh, How else do you think I found you? Oh, look, I can see the Volturi now! I see their screens!

Rosalie: Emmett! ITS. OVER IF YOU DON't COME HOME IN EXACTLY 3 HOURS DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Emmett: Okay, okay, I'll be right there, Rosie, love youuuuu! 

Carlisle: Remind me to reeducate him in grammar, please?

Esme: Of course, sweetheart!

Renesmee: (SeeHowIThink0910.) has logged on.

Jacob Black: (FuriousWolf0910.) has logged on.

Jacob: Who saw what?

Bella: Hey, how'd you get into the conversation?

Jacob: I am a master at all things electronic.

Renesmee: True, he is. Anyways, why is Emmett in Volterra?

Emmett: On the run y'all! Demetri is chasing me, there is no way, that he's knocking me down this time. Even if his name on MSN is… hmm, let me look on my contacts… just a second!

Rosalie: EMMETT McCarty! YOU ADDED DEMETRI TO YOUR CONTACTS?

Edward: Shiiit!

Carlisle: Oh, muffins!

Esme:I make good muffins, so don't use that word to curse! :D

Alice: Oh, dang it, I wanted to get chased! Emmett's dumb, Rose.

Rosalie: You didn't need to point out the obvious, PredictionPixie!

Emmett: Oh, woo! Ok, still faster than this MuscularPain17 fellow! Rosie, I luve uuuu!

Esme: Oh, why me?

Jacob: Hey, blondie, I gotta joke for you.

Rosalie: Again? Last time, you made fun of me, because I didn't know what EXP was!

Jacob: Yeah, that was funny. Anyways, what do you call a blonde without…

Renesmee: Don't you dare, she's my favorite auntie!

Jacob: A blonde who sucks everything in, but nothing comes out?

Rosalie: You're not funny!

Jacob: A Golden Retriever!

Rosalie: …

Edward: LMFAO!

Jasper: My emotions, aregoingcrazyIhavenoideawhyI'mnotspacingoutmywords,ican'thelpit.

Carlisle; Do you need grammar help too, Jasper?

Jasper: Nooooo! Sorry. Sorry.

Carlisle: That's what I thought.

Emmett: Wow! You can share a message on here? Check it out! Ere's what I shared!

Esme: My son is going to be the death of me…

Emmett: Chillin' in a tree trunk, waiting for Demetri to try and wrestle me. Hey, we're both vampires, we won't die! Ehehehehe.

Renesmee: Oh. No! He's trying to expose us!

Jacob: Seriously, we don't need another Alice Jasper incident.

Alice: Hey, I still have those boots, don't I?

Rosalie: You told those cops they were supposed to be for ME. Not YOU!

Alice Uh… I mean… um… they... uh…

Rosalie: Forget you, pixie! Emmett, where are you?

Emmet: In Nebraska. Demetri is back in… um… I think it's London…?

Renesmee: How do you not know if its London?

Emmett: Is Londond where they have that weird thing to their voices, and they say, "Hello, matie,"?

Rosalie: Oh. My. Gosh… no one answer that, please?

Carlisle: Hey, don't make fun of my former voice, Emmett McCarty Cullen! And… what is Londond, anyway?

Renesmee: Emmett, yes it is where they have the weir thing to their voices, but they don't say Matie. Have you been watching Pirates Of The Caribian, again?

Rosalie: My darling niece, what did I just tell you all, not to do?

Renesmee: To not kiss Jacob when curling my hair…? Oops…

Edward: RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN! Come here right now!

Rosalie: That is not what I said… ugh, I think Edward passed down his don't listen to my older sister speech genes down to our darling niece!

Edward: Did not, anyways. I…

From the first floor of the house there was a huge thud as Emmett barreled through.

Emmett: Climbing up the stairs, Rosie, I told you I'd be home.

Rosalie: Excuse me while I bash my husband's head in with a bat!

Edward: Are Bella and I the only ones that are normal?

Carlisle: What' Are. You. Trying. To. Say?

Edward: I meant besides you and Esme, of course.

Jasper: I'm still here you know!

Alice: Me too. Bella do you want me to give you a make over?

Bella: No, she's normal too!

Renesmee: Ouch! Another burn on the neck, Jacob Black, no kisses for a week!

Jacob: I'm… I'm sorry!

Aro: Ahh, hello Cullens!

Carlisle:…

Edward: Gurrrr

Alice: Crap, I knew they would find us! Um, hello.

Jacob: Uh, there's more of them?

Seth: (LovableWolfMan06.) Has logged on.

Leah: (BeautifulAndDangerous89.) has logged on.

Seth: Are they like our new fam?

Aro: I see you are all still associated with the shapeshifters. My, my. What a horrible impression that puts on the model family I've spoken so fondly of to the lovely newborns we create!

Caius: Brother, I say we go and settle this. We do not need them in our world of immortality if they won't keep our secret.

Jane: Where is Demetri?

Demetri: By Big Ben, I lost the big guy.

Emmett: Yes, still in London, I see? Who invited them to our conversation?

Rosalie: I don't know you big loon!

Bella: Emmett. I swear this is all your fault if you would have just ignored that stupid commercial none of this would have happened! You airhead!

Edward: Like I said, divorce is still an option!

Renesmee: Phew ice feels better and how the heck did our conversation expand from 10 to almost 20?

Rosalie: Our wonderful leaders have decided to pay us an online visit to talk about how they're going to kill us!

Renesmee: I blame this all on Emmett!

Leah: Me, too. Off with your head, dumbo!

Rosalie: Never thought I'd see the day when I'd agree with you, Leah.

Carlisle: Now, now, children I'm pretty sure there's another explanation as to why they are chatting with us.

Aro: Actually, my good friend there was another reason, we just wanted to know if you, uman wannabes that you are, would have heard of this social network.

Marcus: Yes, it seems that they have. Now can we delete the…

Caius: Goodness no! I say, we destroy the Cullen Clan and…

Alice: Ok, enough you ignorant Caius you, I will virtually shut your trap if you don't shut it yourself!

Jane: I think I respect them more now…

Rosalie: Jane? You actually agree with Alice?

Jane: I've had to deal with Caius's stuffiness for over 2 centuries, I've had. Enough!

Aro: Let us delete these! Now!

Alec: Nah, I like it, Jane how about we go into the throne room and discuss what is to be done with Caius?

Caius: Aro, Marcus, you're letting them do this to me?

Carlisle: Hmm, I am considering flying to Italy to see him overthrown. Children, Esme what do you think?

Jacob: I'm down.

Seth: Okay, sure.

Leah: Finally I get to see some bloodsuckers get ripped to shreds.

Rosalie: Yes, shopping in Italy!

Alice: Yes, shopping! Bella? You are coming no matter what!

Emmett: Can I rip Demetri to shreds?

Jane: I'll consider that, Emmett.

Esme: Fine by me.

Renesmee: Ok.

Jasper: Wow I missed a lot. But I'll go!

Edward: Fine, fine.

Bella: I'll go. Alice No! I won't go shopping!

Caius has logged off.

Carlisle: Well, book your flights. Looks like we're going to Italy!

The Cullens have all signed off.

A/N: Well, I know it wasn't that great. I apologize for that. On a better note, Twilight Adventures is up! Please read that one?

I hope you enjoy my stories.


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